Some people in my life have expressed concern as to why it takes so long for me to get writerly things done…and why haven’t I painted the back porch yet? I’ve got two words for you, Fat Cat — er, I mean, peeps in general: the Toddler.

Now, I can’t blame everything on her — not anymore anyway — she knows what’s what — it’s just that between the two of us, we have an incredibly hectic schedule. Of course, everybody says that these days. So, with the Losing My Religion series behind us, I thought now would be a good time to show just how crazy-busy our schedule is.

Take the other day, for instance:

Since this Sunday’s Third Ninjas Omniscient writers’ meeting is to be hosted by the bad-ass Ninja S, who has a great fondness for fresh-pressed apple cider…and since Ninja S has an uncanny ability to describe wounds and gore with incredible realism (like she’s experienced it)…and since she is a bad ass, it seems only prudent that I arrive to said meeting with fresh-pressed apple cider (and an invisible saber-toothed tiger).

So the Toddler and I set out to Oak Glen, where apple-picking season is in full swing, signs are bragging on the fresh-out-of-the-fryer mini cider donuts (which are as good as they sound), and everyone’s running around in clothing that can only be described as “rustic.”

Since we are, as I’ve said, very busy people, we decided to go straight to Los Rios Ranchos, a working apple farm on Wildlands Conservancy preserve land, where they press their cider right on the premises.

Naturally, before we went to collect our cider, the Toddler reminded me that we had to inspect the duck pond for…you know, ducks. (Terrible weather, huh? 😉 )

We heard more ducks than we saw — a lot of suspicious quacking and rustling in the cattails — probably, ya know, National Geographic activity — but a few coots showboated around for us. The Toddler decided to focus her bird-watching on Common Birds of the Reeds, but personally, I think she was just working on her pose.

After the duck pond, it was off to the petting zoo to ogle the goats, and then to the main store where they sell apple cider and…honey sticks.

Being on a tight schedule, we loaded up our goodies and headed for the grocery store…and wouldn’t you know it? I spotted a deer from the road, so I had to pull over and take a pic. Can you see him?

The deer-spotting incident set us back 4.32 minutes in our schedule, so we really had to pour on the steam and crank up the car to 50 mph to make up for lost time. I think, however, the free T-shirt begifted us by the über-friendly staff at the Yucaipa Fresh & Easy was worth the rush. They cram them into these cool giant coasters. I don’t even want to open it, it’s so cool. 🙂

By the by, the “L” on the bottom is for Lovely. Yes, I wear size Lovely. Now you know. 🙂

So now you know why things move at the speed of snail around here. Murphy knows I try my best, but a lady’s gotta do what a lady’s gotta do. And if that means rushing home with the Toddler to drink ourselves sick on apple nectar and watch Kipper, whaddaya gonna do?

We loves Fall!

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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Writerly things occur every day between the hours of 3:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. at our house…which is to say that we are mere days away from launching Lookaway Dogs…which is to say…well, yay!